Stoker is a grave, sensationalist tale about a quiet high school genius named India (Mia Wasikowska), who must tread carefully after her father passes away. Following the funeral, her estranged Uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode) immediately moves in with them and begins seducing her more-than-willing mother (Nicole Kidman). India observes her uncle cautiously, and realizes there is more to him than he has revealed. She becomes equally distrustful of and infatuated with him, and it becomes clear the two are connected by something more than just blood.
So this was my birthday movie, which was kind of exciting since I like weird movies and John Dies at the End is definitely weird. Appropriately, I wrote about it for 366 Weird Movies! Know that I haven’t read the webserial/book, and that I found the movie as a whole pretty uneven and a little lackluster towards the end, but that I definitely think it’s bizarre and imaginative enough for their list of weird movies. The most interesting thing to me about this movie is that it had several unexpected connections to Buckaroo Banzai, which is not something I can say about too many movies. But seriously, they both have inter-dimensional beings who are also Jamaican, gross slug creatures, stories that don’t make any goddamn sense, and Clancy Brown! Whoa!
The beginning of the year is usually marked by sub-par action movies that I see anyway because I’m a sucker. But in 2013, thank goodness, we’ve been treated to at least one solid action flick thanks to a surprisingly great cast and the directing talents of Kim Jee-woon. The Last Stand stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as Ray Owens, a one-time LA narcotics officer who opted to become sheriff of a little town in Arizona when he’d had enough of the action. After formidable South American drug lord Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) escapes FBI custody in Vegas, he and his merciless crew of outlaws plan to ride through Ray’s small border town to escape to Mexico. Despite the FBI’s (led by Forest Whitaker) idiotic refusal to help Ray out, the sheriff pulls his own team together to stop Cortez from crossing.